I
am running out of idea of updating my blog. Tak tahu apa nak tulis. Idea tarak! I have no zest in life...all was just normal and ordinary things in life!!!! Bab-bab menulis dalam blog is not something favourable to me. I rather write it
in my diary – because it’s gonna be short and simple and honest. Kat blog…susah
sikit…kut2 ada yang terbaca blog aku..nahaihhhh mak jemah!
But
recently something good happens! Something that makes me feel good about
myself. Something that makes me look forward for the coming days – something that
makes me feel I am bestowed with good luck, good feeling, good karma and stuff.
Oh well..you name it! Its kind of groovy and cool feeling. Something that put
non-stop smile of my face – at least for a while before I frown again…
April
-2015 – is not a good month to start the
second quarter of 2015. Leceh!! All started sebab promotion yang which I think is
unfair. Rasanya pertama kali dalam hidup aku mengadap boss – inquiring why I didn’t
get the promotion. Maka bermulalah drama dalam hidup aku buat pertama kalinya
aku query pasal nasib diri..dipendekkan cerita…benda tu buat aku depress. Rasa
hampa yang amat sangat. 3-4 bulan jugak rasa rendah diri..rasa marah pada diri
sendiri. Why do I let frustration took over my sanity…mengapa? Mengapa? Grrr…..sedih
sedih..
After
Aidilfitri , I came back to Kuala Lumpur…and I was determined to change. I
wanted desperately to change. I need to be the old me. The old me who is less
grumpy, less complaining, less whinning, more relax, more friendly and I
remember I put a lot a lot of smile on my face! I
reverted to Him. Where I put my prayers and hope … there are nights where I was
not even sleeping, yet I woke up at 6 and get ready to work. I dragged my feet to work – dalam hati tak
yah cakap laa malas…malas gila! Ada muka-muka yang aku benci nak pandang kat
office – arghh..ugly!
With
His will – I am becoming much better…emotionally. And one of the prayer, I
asked for inspiration to get rid of my ugly feeling – to give me something that
I can look forward each day. Sesuatu yang boleh buat aku rasa cam bersemangat
nak gi kerja..nak senyum..you know? That kind of feeling!
Somewhere
in July or August 2015, I bumped into a guy who was busy selfieing in a gym in
Nu Sentral. I came because I had 7-days complimentary pass and tried all the
equipment in the gym. He was wearing a red shirt, a black short pant..and
accompanied by a friend. I watched them from a distance. Kind of funny to see a
guy who was busy photo-whore of himself working out – Aku sendiri pun bukan
kaki selfie….. so bila I saw one – I was amused! :-) I found him attractive –
with a gentleman smile he put on his face..and when he was talking to his
friend. They make jokes and laughed at each other…I found that’s cute! And…tu jelah. Lepas tu aku dah tak tahu apa
jadi kat budak tu…I guess I just had a crush…. .
And
a week after that, I saw him again! Voila! Tak sangka dapat jumpa dia lagi… I
remember exactly each moment of the day…setiap detik...tak sedetik lebih -bak kata abang Anuar Zain!
From
the KLIA Express departure area, I was trying to change my fligh ticket. I needed to
cancel my flight to India as a friend’s wedding in Bangalore had been cancelled. So, I was
in the MAS ticketing counter office and in exchange, I booked a flight to
Amsterdam, April 2016. Ah..tak tahulah boleh pergi ker tak sebab in April I had
some prior engagement to fulfill. Let’s see though! So, I walked towards the
door and passing through Airlines check-in counters. At the same time, I
overheard a song by Afgan, Bukan Cinta Biasa… is played. ..lembut lagu tu...suka
sangat. Terasa di awang-awangan you all.
Twenty meters from the exit door, as soon as it is opened..there..stood a man wearing
an old while Tshirt and plain old jeans walking from the opposite direction…and I had a good
look at him. Jezzz.....he was the same guy I saw in the gym. Handsome tak? Hahaha..kalau
tanya aku..handsome laaa…ada jambang…jambang dia plak ada uban kat kiri and
kanan…rambut pun ada uban jugak! Well…he looks sexy enough to me. Sexy would be overrated - tapi sedap mata memandang..boleh jatuh bijik mata...
Tapi
kawan-kawan aku Cik Tom dan Cik Mek selalu cakap..aku ni takde taste. So aku tak
tahu lah samada orang akan fikir benda yang sama dengan aku. But to me, he is
perfect! Belissima! I
took a good look at him…dia bukan perasan pun aku pandang dia…in a blink of an
eye pun aku pandang. Tapi mata aku memamg susah sikit nak berkelip kalau tengok dia....hahahahah!!! Tapi, takdelah pandang beria sampai tembus baju dia..No No
No..just enough for me to memorize him. A look and hope that maybe when I am aging,
it will be forgotten. Tapi sementara masih ingat..biarlah ingatan pasal dia ni
kekal. I am not sure where he’s heading. All I can remember, once he passed
me..I told myself, until we meet again Mr Stranger. I remember his wearing a
white tshirt with word J – so I called him, Mr J.
That’s how I get myself Mrs
J! Huhuhu…I know I am not going to see him again…so everything was crystal
clear – just to pin in my kepala hotak..okay tak? This is not regular me to think about some
stranger. Rasanya boleh ker Allah jawab permintaan aku untuk cari muse dalam
lelaki ni. Takkanlah kan!
But
he was mysterious guy to me..., that I can’t resist. So..aku solat hajat and asked kalau-kalau
dia is part of Allah plan. I am curious to know..sapa nama dia..dari mana..apa
keje dia… Subhanallah – dengan izin Allah, I bumped into him again coming out
from the gym. Masa tu aku nak gi MPH@Nu Sentral. On the way..aku ternampak dia
dari jauh pikul bag gym..oh my. Gugur jantung…!!!
Tiba-tiba..ada
orang panggil nama penuh dia..argghh..keluar pulak anak telinga aku…hahaha..akhirnya
aku dapat tahu nama dia..tak best laa nak letak kat sini….pandai2lah teka nama
dia yerk!
The
next few days, macam tahu-tahu aku menggedik nak tahu asal dia plak…aku beratur kat
tempat minuman..queuing to buy a drink. There he was, standing right in front
of me, ordering his drink. And I overheard him talking on the phone in
Terengganu’s accent. Perggh..lagi lah..orang sama kawasan tu…yelah KB-KT..kan
ker tak jauh tu..sama-sama pantai timur..yelah..dia ada rupa Terengganu…kulit
hitam manis…ada laa rupa. Tapi boleh cakap luar cam aku..so okay laaa..takdelah
kePantai Timuran dia terserlah…aku suka..aku suka..nak jer aku jerit pada
donia..yamapi!!!!! Found him!
Bersyukurnya
aku..all my prayers for the past few days had been answered. If tonight I
prayed and wish that that I wanted to know something about this guy…I will find it out the next
day. He was watching over me..Ya Allah!
Alhamdulillah…let me feel this way till the end of my life. Will I?
Dalam hidup
ni, ujian diberikan kepada manusia sebagai test of faith – supaya kita as hamba
mengingati siapa Dia yang sebenarnya.
“………….Ketika
hatimu terlalu berharap kepada seseorang, maka Allah timpakan ke atas kamu
pedihnya sebuah pengharapan, supaya kamu mengetahui bahawa Allah sangat
mencemburui hati yang berharap kepada selain Dia. Maka Allah menghalangmu
dari perkara tersebut agar kamu kembali
berharap kepadanya……………”– Iman Syafie
Was
I being mesmerized with this? Till I forget this is part of the test…Dalam
solat, tak putus-putus aku memohon supaya diberi kekuatan untuk menghadapi
ujian ini. Part of the doa..I included him so that He will look after him.
Cinta ker? Or just crush? Or was it lust? I have no clue what he did..who he
was..except for name and his origin. Nothing else…I asked Him to show me…if he
is the one for me, or someone yang Allah cuma singgahkan dalam hati – supaya
ada kegembiraan sementara…as I had wish. If he is not the one, avoid me from
bumped into him.
And
He answered my prayer as well…sedih tau. Lepas aku doa tu..terus tak jumpa dia
beberapa minggu. Aku dah bertanya-tanya..bila lagi nak jumpa dia..Otak kata tak
nak..tapi hati ni..haihhh..degil..nak jumpa jugak…gedik kan ko hati…aku pun
kadang-kadang menyampah dengan hati aku ni….
Until
it was my birthday on October 5th. I was walking towards the entrance
door to KL Sentral and from afar, I saw a man..standing with pilot uniform,
went through the KLIA Express Departure counter and he turned his face to the
direction where I was standing..and gosh…it’s him. Captain rupanya…mana aku
tahu dia captain???
…4 calit…si Winston kan pilot..dia laa cerita benda-benda
cenggini kat aku…aku was perplex..stunned to find balance to walk
forward..hahaha. well.. Hello You! Tu
jerlah aku sebut..dalam hati…nak mencarut dalam hati pun takde orang dengar
kan..apatah lagi nak cakap Hello..kekekekekek…woot woot! Now I know what he’s
doing for living!
And
right that evening, a friend of mine found his facebook…hahahaha..tapi cuma ada
satu friend jer. Apakah ini? Apa pilot memang ada 2 3 org kawan dalam facebook
diorang????
So outdated hokey! Bila aku dah jumpa Fb dia…aku dengan muka tak
malunya …wassap ladies group aku..hahaha..diorang macam tak percaya aku boleh
jumpa J. Well..aku sendiri pun tak percaya aku boleh terjumpa dia dalam FB…hell
yeah..rasa cam aku boleh jadi spy paling agung di maya pada ni…elehh…tu pun
orang tolong carikan..berlagak laa kau Farah!!!!!!
So,
what’s next? …What to do after I had most of the basic information of him –
what’s next for me. Well..to be honest..nothing! I had no plan..would I pursue…I
have no clue…I guess I won’t. I would like the rest are His call – by gesture..by
instinct..by destiny. Why would I not pursue – Honestly, sbb I have an instinct
that we have different mindset, the way we run our life, kind of friends we
hang out – I have not meet him, but my instinct tell me that he is not the one.
And I am always right when it came to the instinct.
For
the time being, I like the way I feel about him. The way I imagine how I will
get to know him..maybe tiba-tiba ada buku jatuh depan dia ker…aih..cheq tak
tahu camne Allah nak aturkan pertemuan tu..tapi..aku nak try pakai Qu Puteh
laa..biar lawooo sikit…kekekekeke…….biar dia perasan aku ni wujud di alam
nyata..kekeke..oohhh…perasan tak habis-habis..TAPIIIIIIIIIII..perasan ni
percuma...you know you feel good when you are love by people around you. The feeling
is uncertain, BUT rest assured..what doesn’t kill you..makes you stronger. Keep
it up, myself! Fly high and always be positive …Cinta itu anugerah. So,
treasure it while the feeling lingers around you. Slan and may ye find happiness in my story...
Cinta itu indah....and luar biasa... take a bow people.! Have a good day peeps!
Cinta Luar Biasa,
Me!
Cinta Luar Biasa,
Me!