When Love Struck....:

I am running out of idea of updating my blog. Tak tahu apa nak tulis. Idea tarak! I have no zest in life...all was just normal and ordinary things in life!!!! Bab-bab menulis dalam blog is not something favourable to me. I rather write it in my diary – because it’s gonna be short and simple and honest. Kat blog…susah sikit…kut2 ada yang terbaca blog aku..nahaihhhh mak jemah!

But recently something good happens! Something that makes me feel good about myself. Something that makes me look forward for the coming days – something that makes me feel I am bestowed with good luck, good feeling, good karma and stuff. Oh well..you name it! Its kind of groovy and cool feeling. Something that put non-stop smile of my face – at least for a while before I frown again…

April -2015 – is not  a good month to start the second quarter of 2015. Leceh!! All started sebab promotion yang which I think is unfair. Rasanya pertama kali dalam hidup aku mengadap boss – inquiring why I didn’t get the promotion. Maka bermulalah drama dalam hidup aku buat pertama kalinya aku query pasal nasib diri..dipendekkan cerita…benda tu buat aku depress. Rasa hampa yang amat sangat. 3-4 bulan jugak rasa rendah diri..rasa marah pada diri sendiri. Why do I let frustration took over my sanity…mengapa? Mengapa? Grrr…..sedih sedih..

After Aidilfitri , I came back to Kuala Lumpur…and I was determined to change. I wanted desperately to change. I need to be the old me. The old me who is less grumpy, less complaining, less whinning, more relax, more friendly and I remember I put a lot a lot of smile on my face! I reverted to Him. Where I put my prayers and hope … there are nights where I was not even sleeping, yet I woke up at 6 and get ready to work.  I dragged my feet to work – dalam hati tak yah cakap laa malas…malas gila! Ada muka-muka yang aku benci nak pandang kat office – arghh..ugly!

With His will – I am becoming much better…emotionally. And one of the prayer, I asked for inspiration to get rid of my ugly feeling – to give me something that I can look forward each day. Sesuatu yang boleh buat aku rasa cam bersemangat nak gi kerja..nak senyum..you know? That kind of feeling!

Somewhere in July or August 2015, I bumped into a guy who was busy selfieing in a gym in Nu Sentral. I came because I had 7-days complimentary pass and tried all the equipment in the gym. He was wearing a red shirt, a black short pant..and accompanied by a friend. I watched them from a distance. Kind of funny to see a guy who was busy photo-whore of himself working out – Aku sendiri pun bukan kaki selfie….. so bila I saw one – I was amused! :-) I found him attractive – with a gentleman smile he put on his face..and when he was talking to his friend. They make jokes and laughed at each other…I found that’s cute!  And…tu jelah. Lepas tu aku dah tak tahu apa jadi kat budak tu…I guess I just had a crush…. .

And a week after that, I saw him again! Voila! Tak sangka dapat jumpa dia lagi… I remember exactly each moment of the day…setiap detik...tak sedetik lebih -bak kata abang Anuar Zain!

From the KLIA Express departure area, I was trying to change my fligh ticket. I needed to cancel my flight to India as a friend’s wedding in Bangalore had been cancelled. So, I was in the MAS ticketing counter office and in exchange, I booked a flight to Amsterdam, April 2016. Ah..tak tahulah boleh pergi ker tak sebab in April I had some prior engagement to fulfill. Let’s see though! So, I walked towards the door and passing through Airlines check-in counters. At the same time, I overheard a song by Afgan, Bukan Cinta Biasa… is played. ..lembut lagu tu...suka sangat. Terasa di awang-awangan you all.

Twenty meters from the exit door, as soon as it is opened..there..stood a man wearing an old while Tshirt and plain old jeans walking from the opposite direction…and I had a good look at him. Jezzz.....he was the same guy I saw in the gym. Handsome tak? Hahaha..kalau tanya aku..handsome laaa…ada jambang…jambang dia plak ada uban kat kiri and kanan…rambut pun ada uban jugak! Well…he looks sexy enough to me. Sexy would be overrated - tapi sedap mata memandang..boleh jatuh bijik mata... 

Tapi kawan-kawan aku Cik Tom dan Cik Mek selalu cakap..aku ni takde taste. So aku tak tahu lah samada orang akan fikir benda yang sama dengan aku. But to me, he is perfect! Belissima! I took a good look at him…dia bukan perasan pun aku pandang dia…in a blink of an eye pun aku pandang. Tapi mata aku memamg susah sikit nak berkelip kalau tengok dia....hahahahah!!! Tapi, takdelah pandang beria sampai tembus baju dia..No No No..just enough for me to memorize him.  A look and hope that maybe when I am aging, it will be forgotten. Tapi sementara masih ingat..biarlah ingatan pasal dia ni kekal. I am not sure where he’s heading. All I can remember, once he passed me..I told myself, until we meet again Mr Stranger. I remember his wearing a white tshirt with word J – so I called him, Mr J. 

That’s how I get myself Mrs J! Huhuhu…I know I am not going to see him again…so everything was crystal clear – just to pin in my kepala hotak..okay tak?  This is not regular me to think about some stranger. Rasanya boleh ker Allah jawab permintaan aku untuk cari muse dalam lelaki ni. Takkanlah kan!

But he was mysterious guy to me..., that I can’t resist. So..aku solat hajat and asked kalau-kalau dia is part of Allah plan. I am curious to know..sapa nama dia..dari mana..apa keje dia… Subhanallah – dengan izin Allah, I bumped into him again coming out from the gym. Masa tu aku nak gi MPH@Nu Sentral. On the way..aku ternampak dia dari jauh pikul bag gym..oh my. Gugur jantung…!!!

Tiba-tiba..ada orang panggil nama penuh dia..argghh..keluar pulak anak telinga aku…hahaha..akhirnya aku dapat tahu nama dia..tak best laa nak letak kat sini….pandai2lah teka nama dia yerk!

The next few days, macam tahu-tahu aku menggedik nak tahu asal dia plak…aku beratur kat tempat minuman..queuing to buy a drink. There he was, standing right in front of me, ordering his drink. And I overheard him talking on the phone in Terengganu’s accent. Perggh..lagi lah..orang sama kawasan tu…yelah KB-KT..kan ker tak jauh tu..sama-sama pantai timur..yelah..dia ada rupa Terengganu…kulit hitam manis…ada laa rupa. Tapi boleh cakap luar cam aku..so okay laaa..takdelah kePantai Timuran dia terserlah…aku suka..aku suka..nak jer aku jerit pada donia..yamapi!!!!! Found him!

Bersyukurnya aku..all my prayers for the past few days had been answered. If tonight I prayed and wish that that I wanted to know something about this guy…I will find it out the next day.  He was watching over me..Ya Allah! Alhamdulillah…let me feel this way till the end of my life. Will I? 

Dalam hidup ni, ujian diberikan kepada manusia sebagai test of faith – supaya kita as hamba mengingati siapa Dia yang sebenarnya.  

“………….Ketika hatimu terlalu berharap kepada seseorang, maka Allah timpakan ke atas kamu pedihnya sebuah pengharapan, supaya kamu mengetahui bahawa Allah sangat mencemburui hati yang berharap kepada selain Dia. Maka Allah menghalangmu dari  perkara tersebut agar kamu kembali berharap kepadanya……………”– Iman Syafie

Was I being mesmerized with this? Till I forget this is part of the test…Dalam solat, tak putus-putus aku memohon supaya diberi kekuatan untuk menghadapi ujian ini. Part of the doa..I included him so that He will look after him. Cinta ker? Or just crush? Or was it lust? I have no clue what he did..who he was..except for name and his origin. Nothing else…I asked Him to show me…if he is the one for me, or someone yang Allah cuma singgahkan dalam hati – supaya ada kegembiraan sementara…as I had wish. If he is not the one, avoid me from bumped into him.

And He answered my prayer as well…sedih tau. Lepas aku doa tu..terus tak jumpa dia beberapa minggu. Aku dah bertanya-tanya..bila lagi nak jumpa dia..Otak kata tak nak..tapi hati ni..haihhh..degil..nak jumpa jugak…gedik kan ko hati…aku pun kadang-kadang menyampah dengan hati aku ni….

Until it was my birthday on October 5^th. I was walking towards the entrance door to KL Sentral and from afar, I saw a man..standing with pilot uniform, went through the KLIA Express Departure counter and he turned his face to the direction where I was standing..and gosh…it’s him. Captain rupanya…mana aku tahu dia captain???

…4 calit…si Winston kan pilot..dia laa cerita benda-benda cenggini kat aku…aku was perplex..stunned to find balance to walk forward..hahaha. well.. Hello You!  Tu jerlah aku sebut..dalam hati…nak mencarut dalam hati pun takde orang dengar kan..apatah lagi nak cakap Hello..kekekekekek…woot woot! Now I know what he’s doing for living!

And right that evening, a friend of mine found his facebook…hahahaha..tapi cuma ada satu friend jer. Apakah ini? Apa pilot memang ada 2 3 org kawan dalam facebook diorang????

So outdated hokey! Bila aku dah jumpa Fb dia…aku dengan muka tak malunya …wassap ladies group aku..hahaha..diorang macam tak percaya aku boleh jumpa J. Well..aku sendiri pun tak percaya aku boleh terjumpa dia dalam FB…hell yeah..rasa cam aku boleh jadi spy paling agung di maya pada ni…elehh…tu pun orang tolong carikan..berlagak laa kau Farah!!!!!!

So, what’s next? …What to do after I had most of the basic information of him – what’s next for me. Well..to be honest..nothing! I had no plan..would I pursue…I have no clue…I guess I won’t. I would like the rest are His call – by gesture..by instinct..by destiny. Why would I not pursue – Honestly, sbb I have an instinct that we have different mindset, the way we run our life, kind of friends we hang out – I have not meet him, but my instinct tell me that he is not the one. And I am always right when it came to the instinct.

For the time being, I like the way I feel about him. The way I imagine how I will get to know him..maybe tiba-tiba ada buku jatuh depan dia ker…aih..cheq tak tahu camne Allah nak aturkan pertemuan tu..tapi..aku nak try pakai Qu Puteh laa..biar lawooo sikit…kekekekeke…….biar dia perasan aku ni wujud di alam nyata..kekeke..oohhh…perasan tak habis-habis..TAPIIIIIIIIIII..perasan ni percuma...you know you feel good when you are love by people around you. The feeling is uncertain, BUT rest assured..what doesn’t kill you..makes you stronger. Keep it up, myself! Fly high and always be positive …Cinta itu anugerah. So, treasure it while the feeling lingers around you. Slan and may ye find happiness in my story...

Cinta itu indah....and luar biasa... take a bow people.! Have a good day peeps!

Cinta Luar Biasa,
Me!